


The Spark

by starkidpatronus



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, F/M, First Kiss, High School, High School AU, Jealousy, Lots of Angst, M/M, Party Games, and tags will be added, angst angst angst, multi-chapter, rating WILL be changed for later chapters, seriously, spin-the-bottle
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-08-19
Updated: 2015-07-30
Packaged: 2018-02-13 14:40:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 16,697
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2154366
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starkidpatronus/pseuds/starkidpatronus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Featuring drunken and not-so-drunken party games, English essays, maths tutors, football, a birthday party gone horribly wrong, history and organic chem. study sessions, shopping, poor communication, emo not-boyfriends, cold shoulders, fake IDs, a trip to a "magical" place, social rights activism, misunderstandings, something with a really stupid name, and, with any luck, maybe a bit of love.<br/>ON HIATUS UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Hearts Go Crazy

**Author's Note:**

> Hello there!  
> Let us set the scene: You're hanging out with friends, watching a film, getting a little tipsy, when someone suggests a game of Spin-the-Bottle. And so it begins.  
> This started with a rather ridiculous idea and really grew from there. I do hope you enjoy this multi-chapter, meant-to-be-fun-with-angst fic.  
> WARNING: This has not been Brit-picked or beta'd. If you see any mistakes, please let me know and I'll correct them. And if you're interested in being a Brit-picker for coming chapters, let me know! :)  
> NOTE: All chapter titles are the names of different songs meant to fit the overall theme/tone of the chapter and what it's about. The title of this chapter is "Hearts Go Crazy" after the song by Parachute. Check it out; it's great!  
> Thank you for reading! As always, feedback is welcome!  
> Enough of me yammering on. Enjoy! <3

“We should be studying.”

“That’s nice,” Gwen replied as she hooked her arm in Merlin’s. “Now, does my mascara look all right?”

“Yeah,” Merlin answered tiredly.

“Great,” Gwen replied. “Because we’re doing this.”

“I don’t see _why_!” Merlin complained as they continued their march up the sidewalk to Gwaine’s door.

“Because our dear friend invited us over and we respectfully agreed to attend his get-together on a _Friday_ night.”

“I don’t see why we couldn’t have respectfully _declined_.”

“Because I refuse to spend another Friday night reviewing organic chemistry with you, Merlin!” Gwen declared. “Gwaine said there’d be movies and popcorn--”

“And no doubt alcohol,” Merlin added.

“Probably,” Gwen admitted with a shifty smile. “But no one’s forcing us to partake.”

“Who said anything about force?” Merlin countered. “I know I’ll be partaking _quite_ willingly.”

Gwen gave a little laugh. “See? There’ll be something for everyone.”

“Mm,” Merlin mused. “Or some _one_ for a few people.”

“And just what are you insinuating?” Gwen asked sternly with the hint of a smile she couldn't quite hide.

“Oh, nothing, just that a certain one of our friends whose name starts with an ‘L’ may be there,” Merlin said plainly. “And that a certain someone may be so eager to go to this party because she checked with this individual of the ‘L’ name to be sure he’d be there.”

“ _Yes_ , Lance _will_ be there,” Gwen confessed. “And _yes_ , I _did_ check with him before, but that is none of your affair. We’re just friends.”

“Lance?” Merlin said in an mock-incredulous tone. “I was talking about Leon!”

“Very _funny_ , Merlin.” Gwen gave her friend a little push as they reached the door. She rang the doorbell and stepped back.

They could hear Gwaine shout from inside, “Oi! One of you lot get that; my hands are full!” A scuffle could be heard, and then the door was being opened by Arthur.

“Oh, _really_?” Arthur exclaimed the second he saw Merlin. “You said you couldn't come tonight!”

“Sorry to disappoint,” Merlin answered with a smug look, preparing for the oncoming onslaught of banter.

“‘Not what I meant and you know it, dimwit.” Arthur sighed. “It’s just that I could have given you a ride here if you had told me you were coming.”

“Well I’m sorry to deprive you of the opportunity to show off your new car,” Merlin said knowingly. “But Gwen _just_ talked me into this.” It was true. Gwen had shown up at Merlin’s house not an hour before they’d arrived here, telling him that Gwen had already told Gwaine at school that they were coming tonight and Merlin had no choice in the matter.

“Hi, by the way,” Gwen put in. “May we enter the house of must Merlin and I remain on the doorstep whilst you two continue to bicker like some old married couple?”

“Right, sorry,” Arthur quickly amended his behavior, stepping back from the door. “Please, come in, ‘glad you could make it, and all that.”

“Thanks, non--host,” Gwen quipped as she walked through the door.

Merlin followed, locking eyes with Arthur while he shook his head disapprovingly with a slight smile. “You still should have at _least_ told me,” he muttered as Merlin passed.

“Gwen didn't tell me!”

“Well still! I was worried you were gonna’ be spending another Friday night working on maths homework or something.”

“Fear not; I _am_ here, aren't I?” he pointed out as he and Arthur made their way to the living room behind Gwen.

“Yes, you are,” Arthur said with a smile. “Which is a very good thing. For your mental health, I mean. Lord knows how much more organic chemistry studying you can take.”

“Gwen!” Gwaine exclaimed when he saw the girl. He was settling onto the couch with a beer in one hand and too many cheese-puffs in the other. He had evidently just set bowls of food out on the coffee table for everyone. “Merlin! Hey, guys, get in here!”

“Thanks,” Gwen accepted, stepping over the threshold and into the room. She took a seat on the left corner of the sofa next to Leon. On the other side of Leon was Morgana, beside her was Percy, and next to him, on the right corner of the couch, was Gwaine. Lance was sat in an armchair to the left of the sofa, and he offered Gwen a small smile, which she returned.

There was an extra, smaller couch to the right of the larger divan. It was currently occupied by Elyan. Arthur sat down next to Elyan and Merlin sat down next to the prat.

“So, what’s the film?” he asked.

“Just trying to decide that now,” Leon explained. “We've narrowed it down to _The Breakfast Club, Mary Poppins_ , and _All Quiet on the Western Front_.”

“Gee, I wonder who suggested what,” Merlin jibed, settling back in the couch cushions. “We have Morgana, the Disney fanatic. Elyan, the John Hughes cult-member. And Percy, the history buff. So I’m guessing Lance has been making all the selections, yes?”

“I’m sorry, what?” Lance looked up from where he’d been conferring with Gwen about something in soft tones.

Everyone chuckled rather knowingly and Merlin replied, “Never mind.”

“Okay, let’s put it to a vote,” Arthur suggested. “All those for _The Breakfast Club_ , raise your hands.” Arthur, Merlin, Gwen, Lance, and, of course, Elyan did so. “ _Mary Poppins_!” Morgana and Leon. “And _All Quiet on the Western Front_.” Percy and Gwaine. “Really? Gwaine? _You_ want to watch a historical, political commentary about World War II from the German point of view?”

“‘Course!” Gwaine said easily. “I’m _very_ interested in history.”

“Yes, I’m sure it’s _history_ he’s interested in,” Elyan muttered. Merlin had to agree that Gwaine was rather transparent; he didn't exactly have an “A” in history and Merlin was pretty damn sure his friend being sat next to Percy was no mere coincidence. When Gwaine knew what he wanted, he was not afraid to do whatever it took to get it.

“Well, regardless, _Breakfast Club_ won,” Gwen proclaimed in a pleased voice. “Let’s watch!”

“Yes, let’s,” Lance quickly agreed.

“All right,” Gwaine conceded. “Someone put the damn DVD in the player.”

“No need to be such a sore loser, Gwaine,” Arthur stated as he stood up. He took the DVD box from Gwaine’s hand, strolled over to the TV, and stuck the film in the player. Settling back down next to Merlin, Arthur declared, “Democracy is only fair.”

“‘Never said it wasn't,” Gwaine replied mildly. “‘Never said it wasn't.”

***

“But really, isn't that sexual harassment?” Percy piped up.

They had paused the film so someone could go refill the bowls of popcorn, crisps, and cheese-puffs. (Lance had volunteered, and, curiously, Gwen had then done so as well! What a shocking turn of events!) The screen was frozen on Bender sticking his head between Claire’s knees.

“Well, yes, it could probably be defined as that,” Elyan admitted. “But I feel like the way she smacks him around for it makes up for it in the end.”

“Oh, careful, Elyan,” Arthur warned. “You don’t want to get our resident social rights activist all fired up.”

“No, I actually tend to agree,” Morgana stated.

“Really?” Leon seemed surprised, and Merlin couldn't say the feeling wasn't mutual.

“Look, women’s rights _is_ my number one cause,” Morgana started, “but I don’t think _everything_ needs to end in a police report. Clearly, Claire teaches him a lesson, and if that’s enough for her, that’s enough.”

“Maybe she’s not fully aware that she _can_ file a police report,” Percy pointed out.

“I think it’s pretty clear that she doesn't want to,” Morgana countered. “Really, the issue here is that it’s viewed as perfectly normal for a teenage boy to do that, but not a teenage girl. Biology is _not_ an excuse for disrespect.”

“There it is,” Arthur said tiredly, taking another swig of his third--no, wait, fourth--beer.

“I’m sorry, Arthur.” Morgana swung her head to look at her brother. “Are you a miso--misogy--mi--so--gy—nist?” She sounded the word out syllable-by-syllable, demonstrating how she _was_ on her fifth beer.

“No,” Arthur argued. “It’s just that I hear this speech ever night at dinner.”

“And you will continue to hear it until rape is taken seriously as a real threat all women must think about, the wage--”

“--gap is remedied, and women are viewed as equal members of society,” Arthur recited. “I know, Morgana, I know.”

“Good,” Morgana said imperiously.

“Hey, where’re those crisps?” Gwaine called, slurred, to the kitchen.

“Here!” Gwen shouted a beat later as she and Lance emerged from the kitchen, holding three bowls and five beers between them.

“All right, let’s continue,” Leon suggested.

“Let’s,” Lance agreed as he put two of the bowls down and passed around the beers to Morgana, Gwaine, Percy, Arthur, and Merlin. Lance then settled down next to Gwen on the couch, as Leon had somehow ended up on the floor with his back against the sofa.

“Gee, I wonder what they were doing in there,” Arthur murmured into Merlin’s ear. Merlin replied with a snicker, and Arthur smiled back.

Having two best friends really was advantageous; while Gwen was off making mooneyes at Lance, Merlin was able to keep a quiet running commentary on the film with Arthur. Albeit filled with insults at each other’s expense, it was entertaining and maintained Merlin’s good mood. A mood which otherwise would have been threatened by the presence of the three potential couples surrounding them. Seriously, Gwen & Lance, Gwaine & Percy, Leon & Morgana--Was the main section the room _reserved_ for lovebirds while any single-and-will-remain-single people were shuffled off to the side?

“Yeah, same, Brian,” Arthur whispered. “I have a fake ID so _I_ can vote, too!”

Merlin laughed out loud at that one--he knew far too well why Arthur had a fake ID. They’d met in a pub, Year 9, when Arthur had been hustling people at darts and had then been confronted by Merlin. Needless to say, they hadn't gotten off on the best foot. Still, the unlikely friendship had sprung up after one (Merlin) had beaten the other (Arthur) at darts and won all his money, and then the other (Arthur) had thrown up on the one (Merlin). They’d called it even, cleaned Merlin up, and Merlin had bought them both drinks. They’d exchanged numbers. One night when all of Arthur’s other friends were busy, he called Merlin up, and they saw a film together. The next weekend, Merlin had called Arthur when Gwen, Gwaine, and Freya (who had since moved) were all on dates, and the two went to a club. Eventually, weekend plans together became a regular thing, and so did hanging out at school, and wing-manning that never really worked but was fun to try and, before either of them realized it, they were best friends.

“Oh, best part!” Elyan shouted. Merlin snapped back to the present.

“Oi, this movie’s so _long_ ,” Gwaine complained.

“Shut up!” Elyan scolded.

“Wow, sorry, John Hughes.

“I take that as a compliment.”

“I’m sure you do.”

***

“Tha’ film is amazin’!” Elyan exclaimed, a tad slurred in his speech. “A masterpiece!”

“Pretty great, yeah,” Leon agreed--not at all slurred, since he didn't drink and probably wouldn’t have a terrible headache in the morning, the bastard.

“Yeah, ‘s nice an’ all,” Gwaine allowed, sitting up a little from his slumped position on the sofa. “Bu’ how ‘bout we take this par’y to the nex’ level, huh?”

“And wha’ do ya’ sugges’, Gwaine?” Percy asked, adjusting his glasses, which had gone a bit crooked.

“A classic!” Gwaine proclaimed. “Spin-the-bottle.”

“Oh, God,” Merlin groaned. “Wha’ are we, thirteen?”

“Never too ol’ for a li’l fun, I always say,” Gwaine argued.

“I agree; it soun’s fun!” Morgana concurred. Ah, yes, she always was a bit of an echo when she got drunk. She was also much more agreeable to any flights of fancy than usual.

“I don’t know if that’s such a good idea,” Lance (who also didn't drink, bastard) said.

“Yeah, it seems a li’l…” Gwen seemed to fish around for the word for a second, then settled on, “...risky.”

“Please, we’re all frien’s,” Arthur pointed out.

“I see no harm in it,” Leon stated, sneaking a glance at Morgana.

“I’m all for it,” Elyan agreed. “On one con’ition: I’m no’ kisin’ my sister.”

Arthur shuddered. “Yeah, same.”

“Okay, le’s do it,” Percy said, and that seemed to be the final word.

Everyone left the telly section and moved to the open section of the living room, forming a circle there. “‘Can’t believe we’re doing this,” Merlin muttered as he got in position between Gwen and Arthur.

“Oh, come on, _Mer_ lin!” Arthur put his arm around Merlin’s shoulder. “I’s jus’ for fun!”

“I dunno’, I’m kind of with Merlin on this one,” Gwen said softly, blushing and glancing quickly in Lance’s direction.

“Oh, come off it,” Arthur argued. “You an’ Du Lac have been wantin’ to kiss since you firs’ laid eyes on each other. Tonigh’ could be the night!”

“He does have poin’ there,” Merlin conceded.

“Excuse me,” Gwen said, sounding affronted and surprisingly sober, “but I would rather our first kiss _not_ be for some silly drunken party game.”

“But you admit,” Merlin caught, “that you _do_ want to have a first kiss with him.”

“Oh, shut up, Merlin.”

Merlin just smiled to himself, raised his eyebrows, and turned his attention to Gwaine, who had stood up. Merlin didn't even notice the loss of warmth as Arthur removed his arm from around Merlin’s shoulder. Really. Didn't notice at all.

“Righ’ then,” Gwaine said while holding up a Sam Adams bottle. “Rules are: You spin the bo’le, whoever it lan’s on, ya’ kiss. _Really_ kiss. Has ta’ las a’ least five secon’s. Of course, ‘can las’ longer if you like.” He winked in Percy’s direction, and everyone else rolled their eyes. “Exclusions: Inces’. If the bo’le lands on your sibling on your turn, ya’ don’ kiss ‘em, an’ we skip tha’ turn an’ move on. Questions?” Everyone murmured that no, there were no questions. “Great. I’ll start then.” Gwaine spun the bottle, glanced once at Percy, and saw as the bottle pointed at Morgana. Gwaine’s disappointment was evident for a split second, before he said, “All righ’ come here.” He grabbed Morgana’s face in both hands, pulled her in, and really laid one on her.

“Wow, Gwaine,” she said as they pulled away after five seconds. “They don’t call you a ‘ladies man’ for nothin’.”

“No’ jus’ ‘bout the ladies,” he replied, winking at Percy _again_ , causing the other man to blink.

“All right then,” Leon cut in. “Give it a spin.”

Morgana spun the bottle, watched it twirl for a bit, and heard Gwaine’s muffled curse as it landed on Percy. There was laughing and applauding, and Morgana told everyone to, “Pipe down!” as she pulled Percy in by the back of his neck. It lasted the five seconds, no more, and neither looked particularly unhappy that it had to end. Then again, it didn’t look like they had _dis_ liked it, per se. Just that a repeat would not be necessary.

Percy spun next and immediately protested, “No way! No’ happening!” when it landed on Elyan.

“Yeah, I agree,” Elyan said.

“Why, ya’ chicken?” Morgana taunted.

“ _No_ ,” Elyan pushed back. “It’s jus’ that we’re bes’ mates!”

“Oh, come on,” Arthur reasoned. “I’s no big deal, and i’s not like you never done it before.”

There were various agreements voiced around the circle. It was well-known that Percy and Elyan had originally been a thing when the two had initially met, but had ultimately decided that the chemistry just wasn’t quite right and that they really worked better as friends.

“Which is what makes it _weirder_ ,” Percy pointed out.

“Only if you've still got feelings for each other,” Lance teased.

“We don’t!” the two in question answered in unison.

“Then _prove_ it,” Gwaine challenged, speaking for the first time since this issue came up. “Rules are rules.”

Elyan tried, “But--”

“Rules are rules,” Morgana repeated. “Now quit being such wusses and give ‘im some tongue!”

The group cheered in agreement, Percy & Elyan exchanged a look that said, “what-the-hell-why-not,” and they kissed--albeit without tongue.

“Right,” Elyan said as he pulled out of the sloppy, drunken, not--quite snog. “Thanks for remindin’ me why _tha’_ doen’ work, Perc.”

“Likewise,” Percy replied with a smug grin.

Gwaine was still scowling. “Okay, jus’ spin the damn bo’le,” he commanded.

“Yes, sir,” Elyan complied, giving the bottle a spin as it landed on...his sister.

“Nope!” he said immediately. “I already said at the star’ of all this--”

“Relax, Elyan,” Leon placated his distressed friend. “It was already stated in the rules that there shall be no incest. We’ll just skip this turn, as the rules explicitly state. Gwen, if you would.”

Gwen smiled and did, and looked half-hopeful, half-sick every time the bottle turned towards Lance during its spin. In the end, though, it was Leon the bottle pointed to, and she grinned and gave her friend-since-childhood a harmless, sweet kiss.

Leon came away from it smiling, too, and Lance only looked a _little_ bummed out, for which Merlin gave credit. He was just lucky he didn’t like anyone in their friend group, so he didn’t have to worry about any annoying feelings of jealousy ruining the already-pretty-sucky game for him.

The bottle landed on Lance for Leon. There was a pause as the two straight men looked from the bottle to each other, then back down at the bottle. After a beat, though, Leon declared heartily, “Well, a guy could do a lot worse!” and pulled Lance in by his shirt collar. The gesture gained applause, laughter, and Merlin’s undying respect.

Lance spun and the bottle landed on Arthur. “Well, as it’s already been established that sexuality bears no relevance in this game,” Lance determined with a shake of his head. He pulled Arthur in, held him there for five seconds, and released him.

Arthur raised his eyebrows afterwards, saying, “Well, Lance, I must say: Any girl fortunate enough to get you is very lucky indeed.” Merlin coughed in Gwen’s direction, and she pushed Merlin in response.

Arthur spun, it (of course) landed on Morgana, and the turn was skipped. Morgana spun, got up-close-and-personal with Elyan, who spun and watched the bottle land on Leon. They went for it, Leon spun, and kissed Percy. Percy spun, kissed Gwen, who spun and watched it land on...Merlin. Merlin, who had so far been fortunate enough to escape the bottle’s wrath, was now faced with this monster.

“No,” he instantly refused, and Gwen’s facial expression seemed to mirror Merlin’s sentiment.

“What, is Gwen no’ pretty enough for ya’?” Morgana mocked.

“I’m _gay_ an’ you _know_ that,” Merlin answered.

“And we’re best friends,” Gwen added. (God, how was she so able to sober up so remarkably fast?)

“Hey, it’s already been clearly established that neither sexuality nor level of friendship matters,” Leon pointed out. “So pucker up, you two!”

Merlin made a gagging noise, and Gwen looked like she was going to be sick. “Let’s...get this over with,” she said hesitantly.

Merlin sighed. “Let’s.” He closed his eyes, pressed his lips to Gwen’s, counted to five, and yanked away at the same time she did.

“Oh, God,” he said, sounding as nauseated as he felt.

“I may throw up,” Gwen stated.

“Oh, come on,” Gwaine said. “It couldn't have been _that_ bad.”

“It was like kissing my sister,” Merlin argued.

“Please,” Elyan interrupted, “do _not_ say _anything_ like that right now.”

Everyone laughed, and Merlin figured that it could have been worse; he could be sober right now and , _not_ had that experience watered down some by alcohol. “Right. Sorry.”

“All righ’, let’s move on then,” Arthur suggested.

Merlin took a quick mental inventory of his friends: Leon and Lance had been sober all night, so it would obviously be bad for the bottle to land on either of them, despite Merlin once having a crush on Lance when they’d first met (okay, who _didn't_ have a crush on Lance at first, really?). Gwen seemed to be completely sober at this point, and besides, kissing her hadn't exactly been enjoyable the first time. Morgana was...well, a girl, so that wasn't his first choice. Gwaine would mentally kill Merlin if he kissed Percy, so that was out. Gwaine was drunk and had a reputation for being a good kisser, so that wouldn't be bad, Merlin supposed, and nor would Elyan, who seemed to be slightly tipsy. So Merlin crossed his fingers and prayed as he spun the Bottle of Dread, hoping the Fates would be kind in their selection, and saw the bottle land on--Arthur.

So the Fates were not feeling particularly charitable.

“Oh, come on,” Merlin pleaded. “Have a heart; _please_ don’t make me kiss _both_ my best friends in _one_ night.”

“Rules are rules,” Morgana stated yet again. “Besides, at least it’s the right gender this time.”

“‘Not the right guy,” Merlin muttered.

“Oh?” Gwen raised her eyebrows. “And who is?”

Merlin shrugged. “Not sure, but I know i’s definitely no’ Arthur.”

“Well, I’m flattered, Merlin, truly,” Arthur said amongst several “ohhh”s from the group.

“You’re also straight, Arthur,” Merlin said tiredly.

“I dunno’, Arthur,” Elyan said mischievously. “‘Sounds like a challenge to me. ‘Wanna’ prove you _can_ be the right guy?”

“Please no,” Merlin begged.

“Oh, don’t worry, Merlin,” Lance appeased. “He’s not _that_ bad.”

It wasn’t that Merlin didn’t think Arthur was a good kisser--he was probably just fine, really. Actually, he was most likely quite _good_ , considering the number of girls he’d snogged, and the few he’d actually shagged. It was just that he was Merlin’s _best friend_. It would be _weird_ to kiss Arthur. Not because Arthur was a bad guy--he wasn’t--but simply because--

Well, because Merlin knew why Arthur had to cut his grilled cheese sandwich into two triangles, and how he loved the sound of rain on the roof more than anything, and how terrible his socks smelled after a gym workout, and what his morning voice sounded like, and his coffee order, and why Donna was his favorite companion, and how much he missed his mother every day, and how he’d lost his thumbnail once when he was a kid, and how his father was constantly making him feel like shit, and how a piece of caramel could always cheer him up about anything. Merlin _knew_ Arthur, and when you know someone that fully and _that_ intimately….Well, it was tough to imagine getting that _physically_ intimate with them. Merlin couldn’t explain it any other way. 

“Look, I’m sure Arthur’s a _fine_ kisser,” Merlin started. “But I just don’t want to--”

He was cut off by strong, sure hands grabbing both sides of his face, pulling him close, and then warm lips were on his, _moving_ against his. And Christ, he’d been _so_ wrong; “quite good” did _not_ adequately sum up Arthur’s kissing skills. “Fucking mindblowing” was more accurate. When he licked the seam of Merlin’s lips, Merlin happily obliged, opening his mouth and allowing Arthur’s tongue entrance. Damn, how was Arthur so _good_ at this?

It lasted way longer than five seconds--That much vaguely registered in a very remote corner of Merlin’s mind. But he couldn’t even bring himself to care; it was _that_ good.

And it wasn’t even necessarily the kiss _itself_ (as good as that part was); there was some sort of separate layer to it that Merlin had never felt before. Not even with Edward, whom Merlin had, at one point, thought was The One. (He’d been wrong, but that was beside the point.) It wasn’t like there were fireworks or any cliché bullshit like that--he wasn’t the stereotype of a twelve-year-old girl, despite playing this stupid game. It was more like...a “spark” is what some corny, awful rom-com would call it. Unfortunately, that was the only word Merlin could think of for it, so yeah, fine...a spark. Something sort of...clicked, and it felt….Merlin didn’t know really, it just felt _right_.

Wait, no, no, that couldn’t be….No, Arthur was Merlin’s _friend_ , his _best_ friend, and Arthur was _straight_ , damn it, and no, this _couldn’t_ be right. Merlin quickly pulled away, cringing at the smacking sound their lips made upon losing contact. He looked into Arthur’s eyes, pupils blown wide and irises painfully blue, and turned away--fast, before he could do anything stupid like never look away. (Or maybe lean back in.)

Merlin felt dizzy as he heard Arthur clear his throat and say into the slightly uncomfortable silence, “‘Guess it’s my turn then.” Everyone except Merlin murmured agreement. Arthur spun the bottle, Merlin couldn’t figure out why he was praying it would land on Morgana, and Merlin proceeded to thank _God_ when it did, in fact, land on Morgana.

The turn was skipped, and Morgana spun, but Merlin didn’t really register anything else that happened after that. He knew the bottle didn’t land on himself or Arthur for the rest of the game, but that was all.

By the time it was over, the clock was striking midnight and everyone decided to hit the sack.  


“So, Gwen and Morgana are obviously together,” Leon said, taking charge of the situation. “You girls can have the guest room. Lance, Elyan, and I can take the living room. Gwaine, who do you want in your room?”

“I’ll go!” Percy volunteered, and then flushed a little upon realizing how immediate his reaction had been. “I mean...if you're cool with that, mate.” He sat back, clearly attempting to appear nonchalant and failing horribly.

Gwaine was just smirking at the obvious object of his affections. “Yeah, that’ll be fine,” he agreed.

“Wow,” Leon said, rolling his eyes. “How unexpected. Um...Gwaine, your parents are out of town. They wouldn’t mind if Merlin and Arthur took their bed for the night, would they?”

“Well they’re never in it, so I can’t imagine they’d even notice,” Gwaine said with just a hint of bitterness.

“Great!” Leon concluded, though he was looking at Gwaine in a slightly worried manner. “So it’s all settled then. Now, everyone in pjs and in bed.”  
Merlin sat up. “Wait!” Everyone turned to look at him. No, he could _not_ let this happen. “Um...I think I should bunk with, um...maybe Lance? And Arthur with you and Elyan?”

“Why’s that, Merlin?” Leon’s brow furrowed.

“Yeah, why’s that?” Lance questioned in a far too knowing tone.

Merlin couldn’t help but notice that Arthur wasn’t protesting against Merlin’s suggestion. “Well it’s just…” _Just that I’m having a major panic attack at the prospect of sleeping in the same bed as my best friend because of one stupid kiss that happened because of a stupid game and now I think I may be having a sexual crisis about him since I've never looked at him this way before but now I can’t stop looking at him in this way and I’m in a really bad situation and sleeping in the same bed with him would only make everything worse._ “I dunno’, just...wanna’ be with ya’, mate?” he tried lamely.

“Hey, no, wait!” Elyan protested. “You were with Lance _last_ time, and I haven’t slept with these two in forever!”

Several catcalls and an, “ohh-la-la!” were heard.  


“Oh, sod off!” Elyan responded. “They’re both straight; you know what I mean.”  


“Oh, what’s the big deal?” Morgana spread her hands in a far-too-wide gesture. She was still drunk, thank God. Her powers of ESP would not be too great for Merlin right now, so it was fortunate they were impaired. “We’re all friends; it doen’ ma’er.”

Everyone else chorused various agreements. Merlin heard Arthur clear his throat again and looked over at him.

“I mean, it’s not like we've never shared a bed before, right?” Arthur reasoned, voice strained. “‘Shouldn't be a big deal.”

Merlin decided that playing along with that charade would probably be his best idea, regardless of how he , _knew_ that the truth was the direct opposite. “Right,” he said carefully. “I...guess you're right. No big deal.”

“Then it’s settled!” Gwaine declared. “To bed!”

“To bed,” Merlin repeated to himself.

Great. Just great.


	2. Back to Normal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Boy, this one is jam-packed! Includes the morning after, a horribly awkward lunch that no one else thought to be abnormal, freaking out about one specific kiss, a frigid shoulder, a wonderful best friend, maths issues, and hopefully things finally getting back to that wonderful state called "Normal."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Previously: The gang had a get-together at Gwaine's house which resulted in an ill-advised mostly-drunken game of Spin-the-Bottle. Said game then resulted in several kisses, including one between best friends Merlin and Arthur. Merlin was terrified to find he felt a spark in the kiss, and isn't quite sure what to do about the crisis he is having because of it. Gwaine flirted heavily with Percy, Leon and Lance were smitten with Gwen and Morgana, respectively (and feelings may or may not be returned...). Everyone spent the night at Gwaine's house, and Merlin and Arthur were made to sleep in the same bed. (DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNNN)  
> Read on to find out what happens next!

_Ow._

Ow, ow, _ow._

Merlin’s head felt like it was about to split open from pain, his throat was on fire, and his tongue felt like sandpaper.

He opened his eyes and immediately shut them against the harsh sunlight. Thinking for a moment, he tried to get his bearings. He was in a bed. A big, soft bed. Definitely not his own bed. Gwaine’s bed--No, Gwaine’s _parents’_ bed. And he was there with...Arthur. Wait, why did that thought unsettle Merlin? Arthur was his best friend; there was no reason why--

Oh.

Oh, shit.

The events of the previous night came rushing back to Merlin suddenly: Walking with Gwen to the party, watching the film, drinking what was probably (definitely) too much beer, some moronic game of Spin the Bottle, more beer, and...and kissing Arthur. That one cut through the haze, every sensation of it strikingly clear. Arthur’s lips, his tongue sliding inside Merlin’s mouth, the way Arthur had explored the edges of Merlin’s teeth, the...spark.

Shit, shit, _shit_!

Then he realized, upon stretching and feeling nothing but a warm patch of sheets beside him, that he was alone in the bed. Yes, that made sense. Once they’d got to their room for the night, Arthur had seemed more than a little tense. They hadn’t said a word; just changed into their pajamas (Merlin had _not_ stared at Arthur’s shoulders while he shed his clothes), and gotten under the covers, backs to each other. Merlin could understand why Arthur would leave the room so fast; he was probably already in the kitchen with the others.

Merlin rose from the bed and shuffled to the bathroom, thinking he’d brush his teeth before joining his friends.

And so he didn’t think of knocking, because he thought Arthur was already downstairs, which is why Merlin was so surprised to find Arthur.

Well.

Not downstairs.

No, instead, Arthur was in the bathroom. With his pajama bottoms around his ankles and his hand somewhere Merlin tried not to look.

“Oh my God!” he exclaimed, sincerely not knowing what else to say.

“Merlin!” Arthur shouted, his voice going high with what Merlin figured was probably both alarm and anger.

“I--I didn’t...I--” Merlin seriously could _not_ find the right words.

“Get out!” Arthur suggested in a very non-negotiable tone.

“Right!” Merlin agreed, his voice cracking.

He spun around, fled the room, and slammed the door, leaning against it.

Well. This actually could not get any worse.

Merlin waited for a minute, running his hands through his hair and taking deep breaths. He began pacing up and down beside the bed and trying _desperately_ not to think about the image with which he’d just been presented. Christ, this was the actual most embarrassing moment of his life. Maybe this would one day be a funny story to tell at parties! Years from now. Maybe centuries.

Finally, Arthur emerged from the bathroom, both sweatpants and dignity restored.

Merlin started, “I am, so, so, so--”

“Do you even know _how_ to knock?” he was cut off by Arthur.

“I’m sorry!” Merlin apologized. “I thought you were down in the kitchen; I didn't know you were...um...in there.”

“Which is why you knock!”

“Well I realize that _now_!”

“Why didn’t you realize it before?!”

“Why didn’t you lock the damn door, you prat?”

“Because I thought you’d have enough sense to knock!”

“Since when have you thought of me as someone with sense?”

“Look, can we just--” Arthur sighed. “Can we just...forget it? The whole thing?”

Merlin got the feeling “the whole thing” referred to more than just that morning. He shifted in his stance and cleared his throat, decidedly not thinking of a claiming tongue making its way into his mouth and warm hands on either side of his face. “Yeah, I...think that’d be best.”

“Right,” Arthur concluded, moving to the bed. “Let’s make this up, then.”

“Yeah, sure,” Merlin agreed.

They made the bed, dressed for the day, and went down to the kitchen for breakfast.

“Well!” Leon boomed when they entered. He was holding a mug of coffee and looking far too cheerful, comfortable, and hot while leaning against the cupboards. “Aren’t _two_ people up late?”

Merlin held up a hand. “Please. No yelling.”

“I’m not yelling,” Leon countered, grinning appallingly.

“Then no speaking at a decibel greater than two,” Arthur revised.

“My, aren’t you two cranky,” Lance joined in from where he sat at the breakfast bar beside Gwen. “What in God’s name has got you so snippy?”

Merlin scratched the back of his neck, and Arthur muttered something about “being tired from last night.”

And that was, of course, when Morgana--who had been silently nursing her morning tea up to this point--decided to pipe up with, “Oh, and just what did you get up to last night?” Her tone was far too suggestive for Merlin’s taste.

Normally, he was able to come up with a witty retort to any insinuations the group made about the two of them. Now, though, for some stupid reason, he found himself tongue-tied at the thought of he and Arthur doing what Morgana was joking about.

“Probably the same thing you were up to, Morgana,” Arthur answered, apparently oblivious to Merlin’s current existential crisis. “Well-needed sleep after a long night of good fun.”

“Is that what the kids are calling it these days?” Elyan intoned with a smirk. “‘Well-needed sleep?’ Or is it the ‘good fun’ part that’s the code?”

“Knock it off,” Merlin ordered with a sigh as he poured himself a cup of tea, praying no one noticed the way his hands were shaking.

“Wow, no need to get testy,” Gwaine said with a grin. He was sitting at the table next to Percy and across from Elyan. Gwaine’s back was to the glass door of the kitchen. “After all, I’m sure you two got plenty _testy_ last night.”

Merlin groaned, mostly because that one was just _painfully_ bad. Arthur sighed, and everybody else got a great laugh. “That’s enough,” Arthur snapped as he took the cup of coffee Leon offered.

“Sorry, sorry,” Lance apologized for everyone.

“So, does anyone have any plans for the day?” Gwen asked in a chipper tone before bringing a spoonful of cereal to her mouth.

“Sleep,” Merlin and Arthur chorused.

Elyan arched an eyebrow. “Okay, really? Sometimes you guys make it too easy.”

“‘Walked into that one, didn’t we?” Merlin had to confess as he grabbed himself a mini coffee-cake.

“Anything actually interesting?” Gwen prompted.

“I don’t know,” Morgana said cautiously. “I’m not exactly feeling my best. I think I’m gonna’ need at least a few hours to feel up to doing anything.”

“Well how about we all go to lunch at Leonardo’s at around two, then?” Gwen suggested. “It’s eleven now.”

“Sounds great to me.” Lance grinned and Gwen smiled sweetly back. _Jesus, get a room,_ Merlin thought to himself.

“‘Should be fun,” Leon agreed. “I’m in.”

“Ugh, two days in a row spent with you idiots?” Elyan said in goodnatured mock-disgust. “‘Not sure I fancy the idea of being with my little sister and a pack of morons for that much time.”

“So you’re in,” Percy concluded. “As am I.”

“Me, too,” Gwaine added.

Morgana gave a little sigh. “Well, I guess that gives me enough time to get my beauty restored. I’ll be there. What about you, dear brother?”

“Um…” Arthur looked from Morgana, to the rest of the group, to Merlin, and back to Morgana. “Sure, why not?”

“Smashing!” Morgana’s smile was dazzling. “Merlin?”

“Um, I, um….Well…” Merlin wasn’t really sure he wanted to be spending anymore time near Arthur today, but they were all looking at Merlin expectantly, and everyone else was going, so he couldn’t very well say, “no.” “Yeah, all right.”

“Great!” Gwen beamed. “It’s all settled then.”

“Yup,” Merlin said flatly.

All settled.

How peachy.

***

Lunch was horribly awkward, but only for Merlin and Arthur.

Because Merlin was sure that no one noticed the look on his face when he realized the only open seat left for Arthur in the booth was on the edge, next to Merlin. And he was also sure no one noticed how having his blond best friend’s leg pressed flush up against his own was affecting him. And he was at least _praying_ that no one noticed the way he choked on his water at the exact moment Arthur started bouncing his knee.

Of course, Merlin had had fun with his friends, but he was very glad when they all left the booth and headed home. Yes, that was _more_ than enough Arthur for twenty-four hours.

Merlin sighed as he sat at his desk, working on his English essay. He’d always loved spending time with Arthur; never could get enough of it! And Arthur had always loved spending time with Merlin--the two had always been inseparable; that’s why the gang made so many jokes about them. But now--

Merlin groaned his frustration. That stupid _kiss_ that had fucked it all up. Merlin couldn’t believe himself. He’d _actually_ let some drunken party game kiss affect his relationship with one of his best friends. Honestly, he was pathetic. Sure, it’d been a pretty great kiss--could maybe even qualify as a snog if Merlin were held at gunpoint--but that was _all_. It was _nothing_ compared to his and Arthur’s fantastic, years-long friendship. Merlin should _not_ be having a semisexual crisis over this.

He took a deep breath. He just needed to approach this logically: Arthur was still the same person. Merlin had never had any feelings for Arthur before, and there was no reason to start now. Arthur was Merlin’s _friend_. They were _friends, best_ friends. And it was much better that they remained that way. Which is what Merlin wanted, really. He wouldn’t sacrifice his friendship with the prat for the _world_ , and besides, it was just some silly fleeting fancy. He was overreacting. He was a teenager, for God’s sake; he was _meant_ to get inappropriate crushes on friends that he’d be over in a day. It was No Big Deal. There was nothing to worry about. He’d see Arthur again on Monday, and everything would be Back to Normal.

***

Of course, that plan would probably have worked better if Arthur showed up to school on Monday.

He wasn’t in English or History or even Art, which was how Merlin knew something was seriously wrong and the git wasn’t just slagging off morning classes.

Merlin caught up with Lance at lunch, calling, “Hey, Lance, wait up!”

“Oh, hey, Merlin,” he greeted as Merlin trotted up and they fell into pace together.

“Hey,” Merlin replied. “Do you know where Arthur is? I haven’t seen him all day.”

“Ah, can’t _bear_ to be parted from him for even a day, I see,” Lance noted with a melodramatic hand laid over his heart.

“Very funny.” Merlin rolled his eyes. “He’s my best mate; I’m worried about him.”

“He’s home sick,” Lance supplied. “He texted me this morning. I’m surprised he didn’t text you, too, actually.”

“So am I,” Merlin said, more to himself than anything. Arthur and Merlin always told each other when they weren’t going to be in school. Sure, maybe that was a little...weird, but they were best mates! (Merlin was beginning to wonder how many times he'd be able to use that excuse.)

“Hey, I wouldn’t worry about it, mate,” Lance hurriedly tried to reassure his friend. “I mean, he only texted me so I’d tell Harper why he wasn’t there for this big presentation.”

“Yeah,” Merlin agreed, but it sounded distant and hollow even to his own ears. “Yeah.”

***

It had been two whole weeks since Merlin and Arthur had had an actual conversation. Since Arthur had come back to school on Wednesday, he’d been avoiding Merlin like the plague. All he’d been able to get in was, “Hey, ‘glad you’re better, mate,” and a few, cursory, bullshit words about history homework.

Merlin knew he was being an idiot, a complete fool, yet here he was: Sitting at home on a Friday night, waiting for a boy to call. If that didn’t depressingly sound like something out a fucking teenage rom-com, Merlin didn’t know what did.

The phone rang, and of course it was the landline, and of course Merlin had one of those stupid dialphones like Molly Ringwald had in _Pretty in Pink_. So he didn’t have caller ID and didn’t know who it was when he leaped at the infernal thing and said into the mouthpiece, “Hello?!”

“Merlin? Hi.”

It was Gwen. Merlin felt a piece of his soul die.

“Gwen,” he said, hoping the disappointment wasn’t _that_ evident in the flatness of his tone. “Hey.”

“Hey, I was thinking we could do something tonight?” Gwen’s voice was gentle, and Merlin was grateful for the lack of comment on his obvious sorrow. “Ya’ know, anything you want. Even reviewing English. Just please not organic chem.”

He chuckled weakly. “I don’t know, Gwen, I’m kind of--”

“Do _not_ say you’re busy,” Gwen said sternly. “You’re at home, it’s Friday night, and anything you’re working on right now can wait until tomorrow.”

Merlin sighed. “All right, fine. How about...you come over to my place and we can watch some horrible teenage rom-com.”

“‘Sounds great,” Gwen replied easily. “If that’s what you want.”

Merlin didn’t answer that, just said, “See you soon.” Of course he’d love to see Gwen, but...she just wasn't the best friend Merlin _wanted_ to see just then.

Still, they had a good time watching _John Tucker Must Die_. Merlin had admittedly never felt more like the stereotype of a girl’s gay best friend, but he couldn’t even bring himself to care. The film was a welcome distraction, and Merlin was pretty glad to have Gwen there. This was significantly better than waiting by the phone for Arthur to call.

“So,” Gwen said purposefully once the credits started to roll. “Do you want to talk about it?”

Merlin tensed and decided to play dumb, because Gwen didn’t know, couldn’t know-- “Talk about what?”

“I think you know.”

“Actually, I don’t.”

She shifted in her seat, bringing her legs up onto the sofa and crossing them before her while turning to face Merlin. “Arthur.”

Merlin swallowed. Shit. Who knew one name could bring such turmoil to a person’s stomach? “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Merlin.”

He sighed. “What do you want me to say, Gwen?”

Gwen raised a challenging eyebrow. “The truth.”

Merlin took a deep breath, and realized that if he couldn’t say it to Gwen, he really couldn’t say it to anyone. “I’m angry at him. And I miss him. But I don’t know which I feel more: The anger or the missing.”

Gwen smiled sympathetically. “Maybe it’s fifty-fifty?”

“Well then it’s a really big a hundred,” Merlin muttered.

“It probably is,” Gwen prodded. “I mean, he’s your best friend; it’s natural for you to be having a lot of feelings about…well, the way he’s been acting.”

“So I _haven’t_ been imagining it!”

“No, you haven’t.”

“I just….Ugh!” Merlin cried out in frustration. “I just want him to _talk_ to me about it, you know? We talk about _everything_ together and now he won’t even tell me why he’s cut me off!”

“Well, I mean you know _that_ , right?”

“I feel like I’ve made it pretty clear that I _don’t_.”

Gwen snorted. “Oh, come on, Merlin, you can’t be _that_ daft.”

“Well apparently I am!” Merlin hadn’t _meant_ to raise his voice, but he was just so frustrated with this whole thing! “Now would you mind telling me what exactly you think this is about?”

“A certain drunken party game that resulted in a certain _kiss_ ,” Gwen stated pointblank.

Merlin swallowed again. He’d been worried about that; hell, maybe he’d even _known_ it was about that deep down but had just not wanted to admit it to himself for some stupid, corny reason. (Christ, he was already so close to being the star of his own teenage film; this was just getting ridiculous.) “What about it?’

“Oh, Merlin, don’t play dumb,” Gwen ordered. “I know it’s been screwing you up.”

“It has not been--!” Merlin cut himself off at the look on Gwen’s face. “All right, it _might_ have caused a _minor_ crisis for me, but why should that affect Arthur?”

“Um, hello, dummy!” Gwen taunted. “If it’s been such a problem for _you_ , what makes you think it hasn’t been such a problem for _Arthur_?”

“Um, because he’s the straight one in this scenario?” Merlin pointed out.

“Oh, labels are so restrictive.” Gwen waved that notion away with one hand. “Feelings can rarely be summed up with one word like ‘straight.’”

“Arthur does _not_ have feelings for me!”

“I’m not saying he does!” she backtracked. “I’m just saying he may not have known about some bi-curious tendencies he has, and that he may be having a minor crisis of his own after realizing that he didn’t exactly _mind_ kissing a bloke. At least, it didn’t _look_ like he minded.”

“He kissed Lance,” Merlin argued. “And he hasn’t cut _Lance_ out. Just me.”

“I don’t know, maybe it was different with you,” Gwen tried. “Was there...you know, a spark?”

“Okay, there’s got to be a better word for it than _that_.”

“Well _was_ there?”

“Define ‘spark.’”

“Merlin!”

Merlin sighed and admitted in a small voice, “ _I_ felt one.” Gwen was about to claim victory, but Merlin added, “That doesn’t mean he did, though!”

“Oh, please, a spark is _always_ mutual.”

“Tell that to Eponine,” he countered. “And her army of martyrs of unrequited love.”

“ _Love_?” Gwen arched an eyebrow. “Is that what this is about?”

“What?” Merlin hoped his incredulity at his best friend’s words was visible on his face. “No! It’s just a _weird_ situation, that’s all.” Then he thought of something and cringed, wondering how he hadn’t thought of it sooner. “Oh, and there’s one other thing that may be contributing to the weirdness of everything.”

“And what’s that?”

“Well...um….Okay, you _cannot_ tell _anyone_ about this,” he rushed to say. “And you _especially_ can’t tell _Arthur_ I’m telling you this.”

Gwen said cautiously, “All right…”

“All right.” Merlin took a deep breath, deciding it was best to rip the bandaid off quickly. “The morning after the party, I walked in on Arthur having a wank in the bathroom.”

Gwen’s hand shot up to her mouth as she tried to muffle her cry of alarm. She then brought the hand down to let out an, “Oh my God!” Then she promptly fell off the couch in a fit of giggles.

“It isn’t _funny_ ,” Merlin attempted to scold, but he could feel his own face crumpling helplessly into a grin. A laugh finally escaped. “Yes, it is. It is.”

They stayed like that for a good five minutes, just laughing at the sheer _hilarity_ of the situation. Merlin felt incredibly grateful to have a friend like Gwen to make all this easier, someone with whom to laugh about it all. Then the reality of it began to sink in.

Gwen cleared her throat. “Well. That may very well be the cause of some of the tension between you two and part of the reason why he’s avoiding you.”

“‘ _Some_ ’ and ‘ _part_?’”

“But this didn’t start _then_ , did it?” she continued. “This started the night of the party, after you two kissed. Which makes me believe that _that_ is your real issue, and what you need to address with him.”

Merlin paled. “Wait, when you say ‘address,--’”

“I mean ‘talk,’” Gwen clarified.

“No way!” Merlin shot up off the ground and started pacing up and down the room. “I am _not talking_ to Arthur about all this!”

“Why not?” Gwen stood up herself, hands on her hips. “Honestly, Merlin, it’s _clearly_ confusing the both of you. You _need_ to talk about it.”

“No, we don’t,” Merlin disagreed.

Gwen threw up her hands and questioned, “Ugh, why are men always so afraid to talk about their feelings?”

“Mainly because we like to pretend we don’t have any in order to maintain our masculinity,” Merlin automatically retorted. Then he added, upon consideration of Gwen’s words, “And there are no _feelings_ involved here.”

“Oh, you are a _hopeless_ cause,” Gwen lamented, falling back onto the sofa.

“Thank you for acknowledging that fact,” Merlin accepted, then sat down on the couch himself and put on _Top Gear_.

***

“Mister Emrys, stay behind, please.”

Merlin froze. Damn, he knew _exactly_ what this was about.

He swallowed and made his way up to Mrs. Brown’s desk, nodding at the half-sympathetic, half-encouraging smile Gwaine offered.

Merlin stuck out his chin, trying to look braver than he felt. “Yes, Mrs. Brown?”

“Sit down, Mister Emrys,” Mrs. Brown ordered without looking up from the paper she was observing. Merlin sat down at the desk right across from his teacher’s. Mrs. Brown finally set the paper down and looked squarely at Merlin. “Mister Emrys, you have received two straight grades of ‘C’ on tests in this class.”

“That’s...average?” Merlin tried.

“Not for you,” Mrs. Brown said sharply. “You were pulling straight ‘A’s in this class. I am wondering why that is not still the case.”

Merlin sighed. “I don’t know, Mrs. Brown, I’ve just...hit a rough patch.”

“If you’re having trouble with the material, you should ask for help.”

“I don’t need help!” Merlin cracked. “Look, just because I’m not perfect and I’m not getting the straight ‘A’s everyone expects of me, doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with me!”

“I never said there was,” Mrs. Brown said easily. “I just suggested you may need a little assistance in getting a grasp on the current material of this course.”

“Oh.” Merlin deflated. “Right.”

“But while we’re on the subject, Merlin,--”

“No, please, can we _not_ have this discussion?” Merlin begged.

“I’m afraid we must,” Mrs. Brown said coolly. “Is everything all right, Merlin?”

“Yes!” Merlin insisted. “Completely fine.”

“You can tell me if there’s anything wrong, Merlin,” Mrs. Brown stated, eyeglasses perched on her nose and looking down at Merlin.

He prayed his teacher couldn’t see the sweat on his forehead and took a deep breath. “Well there’s nothing to tell.”

She seemed to look into Merlin’s soul for a beat, then nodded and said, “Right. My advice is to get some help with the current subject of this class. You’re dismissed.”

“Thank you, ma’am,” Merlin said, shooting and up and nearly bolting from the classroom. He was stopped, though, once he reached the door, by Mrs. Brown’s voice.

“Merlin!”

Merlin turned around. Mrs. Brown’s glasses were off and she was looking at her student quite candidly. “You have a great deal of potential, Merlin. It would be a shame to see it wasted.”

Merlin gulped, nodded, and completed his escape.

***

“That’s _it_!” Merlin had had _more_ than enough of _this_. He’d just waved at Arthur in the hallway, and he’d acted like he hadn’t even _seen_ Merlin, even though they’d made eye contact! All right, fine, maybe it wasn’t the most scathing act of injustice ever committed, but something about it just made Merlin want to punch a wall.

He marched up to Arthur, who was at his locker, and demanded, “What the hell?”

“What the hell what?” Arthur asked in a nonchalant tone that sounded incredibly forced.

“You know _exactly_ what!” Merlin spat.

“I haven’t the slightest--”

“Why haven’t you been talking to me for the past three weeks? Why are you _avoiding_ me?”

Arthur swallowed visibly. “I...don’t--”

“Don’t try to tell me you don’t know what I’m talking about!” Merlin warned. “You do. We both know you do.”

Arthur sighed and looked down. “I don’t know, I just….I’m sorry, it’s just that….Ugh!” He broke off and kicked the locker in frustration. “Things just...feel... _weird_ between us, you know?”

Merlin closed his eyes against that. So there it was. Gwen had been right, damn it. Merlin said carefully, “And why do you think that is?”

“I don’t know!” Arthur burst out.

“Then why don’t you _talk_ to me about it so we can _figure it out_?”

“Maybe I don’t _want_ to figure it out.”

“Then we don’t figure it out!” Merlin threw up his hands. “Then we forget about any weirdness and go back to normal. Either way, just….I just wish you would _talk_ to me again, mate.”

And then Arthur seemed to realize just how much he'd been hurting Merlin and said, voice soft, “Oh, shit, I….Merlin, I’m so...I’m so sorry, Merlin, God.” Then Merlin found himself being yanked into a hug, and Arthur’s voice was near Merlin’s ear, saying, “I’ve been a dick, I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay,” Merlin assured. “Just…just talk to me next time, yeah?”

“‘Course,” Arthur agreed, releasing Merlin. “How about I make it up to you tonight? We can go to a pub, I’ll buy the drinks.”

Merlin grinned. “Well in that case I’ll have a glass of the oldest bottle of Scotch they have.”

“Oh, come on, I was a dick, but not _that_ much of a dick.”

“Hey, I can’t help that I just happen to have expensive taste.”

“Merlin, your definition of fine dining is fish and chips and flat soda.”

“People can change, Arthur,” Merlin said loftily. “People can change.”

***

“So, see anyone you like?” Merlin inquired as he and Arthur stood at the bar with their drinks.

“Um…” Arthur looked around the room, sipping his vodka tonic. “No, not really.”

“What about her, over there?” Merlin pointed at a quiet looking brunette on the other side of the room. “She’s pretty.”

“Mm, not my type,” Arthur replied.

“Okay…” Merlin located a redhead seated alone at a table. “What about her? ‘Looks like she’s been stood up; it’d be easy.”

“Ya’ know, I’m not really in the mood for any of that tonight,” Arthur admitted uneasily. The grip his hand had on his glass was way too tight. “I mean, if you’re looking for some, that’s fine, I’m happy to oblige, but...just...not for me.”

“No, it's fine,” Merlin agreed. “I was only suggesting it ‘cause I thought you were interested. Since, you know, you suggested the pub.”

“Only ‘cause I wanted to buy you drinks to make up for...you know,” Arthur said, looking suddenly sheepish, “the way I’ve been acting.”

“It’s _fine_ ,” Merlin repeated, though he wasn’t _hating_ all the apologies. Okay, yeah, he knew it was petty, but he’d been feeling _really_ awful because of Arthur’s behaviour, and the attention wasn't bad. “Just...don’t do it again. Next time something’s wrong, talk to me about it, yeah?”

“‘Course.” Arthur nodded. “I’m sorry.”

“You do realize the only reason anything’s been weird between us is because you’ve been _making_ it weird, right?” Merlin raised an eyebrow at Arthur.

He swallowed, and when he looked at Merlin, Merlin knew what he’d said was a lie. “Yeah. Okay.”

He let the pause run its course before ending it with, “So, um...you started that essay for English yet?”

The night went on like that, the two of them discussing school and the latest gossip (Sophia and Edwin had broken up, and no one knew why, but everyone had a theory (“Probably because he’s gay,” “He’s _not_ gay!” “Yes he is!” “Oh, _you_ would know better than I would?” “Merlin, I’m telling you--” “Arthur, you’re wrong.”)) They discussed the last episode of _Doctor Who_ , and Merlin insisted that Twelve and Clara should be a thing while Arthur insisted that Rose and the TARDIS were the only true loves of the Doctor. (“What about River, then?” “Fine, her, too.”)

And it felt strangely, wonderfully normal. Merlin had never been so relieved to bet Back to Normal with someone. He was amazed how Normal could mean so much and be so perfect when it was with the right person. Oh, not that….Not that Arthur was--Merlin didn’t mean--Oh, not like that, all right?

He just meant that he was really glad to have his best friend back, that was all, and that he’d…never noticed how very integral the prat was to his life before Arthur had temporarily left it. And yeah, it was a little scary how one person’s presence could be so important to Merlin, but it was also very nice to be able to just sit and talk with someone and feel on top of the world for it.

And if there were one or two moments when their eyes met and it felt like they were weirdly suspended in space and time and that they were the only ones in the room….Well, neither commented on it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ch. 2 End Notes: Tada! I hope you enjoyed this latest installment in the continuing saga of one stupid little spark.  
> The title of this chapter is "Back to Normal," after the song by Zebrahead. Again, fantastic song you should most definitely hear!  
> As always, feedback is welcome! Tell me what you like, what you didn't like, what you loved, what you hated, what you need more of, what you could definitely take less of, and anything & everything between!  
> (NOTE: Disclaimer: I own no part of Top Gear or Doctor Who. (And hey, while we're at it, also not the characters of Merlin!))  
> Thank you so much for reading! Stay tuned, and stay happy! <3


	3. Everybody's Changing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An exciting announcement is made, Merlin can't really get excited, Leon is a good friend, and Arthur is an even better one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, here we are, at chapter 3! Fancy that!  
> First and foremost, thank you to the wonderful iamtriSARAHtopss for her lovely beta'ing of this chapter. My gratitude for her help knows no bounds.  
> Previously: Merlin and Arthur were forced to exchange a drunken kiss with a terrifying spark during Spin-the-Bottle. Arthur then proceeded to give Merlin the cold shoulder for awhile, which severely distressed our dear protagonist. Finally, though, after some counsel from Gwen, Merlin straightened everything out with his emotionally-challenged guy best friend.  
> NOTE: This chapter is named after the song "Everybody's Changing" by Keane. Not an exact fit for the chapter, but I thought the bit about "and I don't feel the same" worked well. Regardless, great song you should totally hear!  
> As always, feedback is welcome! Don't be shy! I don't bite! (Unless, of course, you're into that.) <3

“School trip!” Leon bellowed as he sat down next to Merlin. Everyone was sitting at a round wooden table in the cafeteria, chewing on sandwiches and pasta. “Guess where?”

“Why don’t you just tell us, Mister VP?” Morgana grinned at Leon. He blushed and was effectively silenced.

“I’ll tell you,” Lance saved the conversation. “We’re going to--”

“Whoa, slow down there, Mister President,” Gwen stopped Lance, who was then also silenced. “Where’s the fun if we don’t get to guess?”

“Let’s see.” Gwaine stretched and leaned back in his chair. “Disneyworld?”

“No,” Leon recovered.

“Is it on another continent?” Elyan asked.

“Nope,” Lance answered.

“Hmm…” Percy pondered. “Greece?”

Leon shook his head.

“China?”

“Wrong continent, Gwaine.”

“I don’t see you making any guesses, Pendragon.”

“Fine. Spain?”

“No, but right genre of languages.”

“Italy?”

“No, but very close, Merlin.”

“France!” Morgana shouted victoriously.

“Ding ding ding ding!” Lance cried. “Paris, to be exact.”

“Ah, the City of Love,” Gwaine surmised with--of course--a wink at Percy.

Merlin, Arthur, and Elyan groaned--Yes, the single-and-going-to-remain-single people. Surprise, surprise.

“Oh, that’s _amazing_!” Gwen gushed. “I’ve never been to Paris.”

“Well it _is_ amazing,” Arthur proclaimed. “‘Somewhere everyone should go before they die.”

“It’s true,” Morgana agreed. “It’s absolutely incredible. We went once when we were kids for summer holiday. Gotta say, I’m pretty grateful to be going back when I can actually appreciate it.”

“Me too,” Arthur admitted.

“And the people there,” Morgana added.

Arthur rolled his eyes. “Pass.”

“I’m really pumped about it,” Percy declared. “It’ll be great to check out the Bastille, the Louvre museum.”

“Yeah, ‘course,” Lance concurred. “Those are actually specific spots we’re all gonna’ hit as one big group.”

“One big group of high schoolers?” Gwen questioned. “Good luck, Paris.”

“But we are going to have free time of our own, right?” Gwaine checked.

“‘Course,” Leon confirmed. “Plenty of it.”

“Good,” Gwaine said firmly, and Merlin didn’t feel he had to think very hard about just how Gwaine would be spending that time.

“I don’t know, I’ve never really gotten the appeal of Paris,” Merlin put in lightly as he took a bite of his salad.

There was a noticeable lull in the conversation that made him look up with his fork poised above his plate. Everyone was looking at him like he’d just grown a second head. “What?”

“You’re kidding, right?” Arthur asked.

“Well don’t get me wrong,” Merlin hurriedly amended. “I mean, I’m sure it’s nice and all, just...I’ve never really understood all the hype.”

“The Eiffel Tower!” Gwen implored. “The Louvre! The cafes! The romance and beauty! Not to _mention_ the architecture of everyday buildings.”

“Yes, yes, of course, Miss Architect,” Merlin conceded. “I’m sure that’s all lovely, but I just...don't get the romanticism of it all.”

“That’s ridiculous,” Leon stated. “It’s what Paris is known for!”

“Yeah, I’m no romantic, mate,” Elyan said. “But even I’ve gotta admit that it sounds pretty spectacular.”

“Oh, it sounds fantastic!” Lance exclaimed. “A long walk along the Seine, a candlelit dinner in a cozy cafe, giving someone a rose under the moonlight.”

“I think we’ve spotted the romantic,” Percy muttered, causing everyone to laugh and Lance to redden.

“Oh, I think it’s sweet,” Morgana stood up for Lance. “Nothing to be embarrassed about that, that’s for sure. It’s a particularly attractive quality in a man, romanticism is.”

“What about in a woman?” Arthur caught his sister. “What happened to equality, Morgana?”

“Of course it’s attractive in a woman, too,” Morgana said loftily. “But it’s just so rare to find a man so willing to show his romantic side, considering the stigma society places on men showing emotion. It’s pretty brave for a man to publicly display romantic tendencies, considering societal circumstances.

“Right, good to know, Morgana,” Arthur said, rolling his eyes.

“Thank you, Morgana,” Lance said with a humble nod.

“Any woman would be lucky to have you, Lance,” Morgana declared, smiling and raising her soda can in her friend’s direction. She also sent a wink to Gwen, who blushed even harder than she had been when the exchange began.

“Well,” Gwaine said breezily. “I don’t see how we’re gonna be able to top this trip next year.”

“We will,” Lance and Leon firmly promised together.

“Well, be careful what you promise boys,” Gwen warned with a mischievous twinkle in her eye. “We may just hold you to it.”

“As well you should, my lady,” Lance said with a nod to Gwen that was far too charming and completely disarmed her.

Merlin felt like gagging--he either had to get away from all of this couple shit, or find someone of his own with whom to flirt. Or at least someone with whom to hook up. Maybe he’d be able to find someone in Paris. After all, Gwaine was right; it _was_ the City of Love. And French guys were hot--

No, no, he had to stop that train of thought. He mustn’t fall for that myth that took so many tourists hostage. The grand belief that all they had to do was pack their bags and go to Paris, and suddenly they would become Julia Roberts and have all their dreams of self-discovery and true love realized at once. Honestly, how could people be so stupid?

Upon expressing such ideas to Leon one day, though, the man commented, “Well, aren’t you cynical, Merlin.”

“Not cynical,” Merlin disagreed. “Just realistic.”

Every Wednesday, the two of them occupied a little room in the library together and studied history. Currently, they were taking a break, and the conversation had turned, as it always seemed to these days, to the school trip.

“Even so,” Leon persisted, leaning forward. “Doesn’t just a _little_ part of you like to believe in something unrealistic? You know, throw caution to the wind and have a little faith?”

Merlin shrugged. “I mean, it’s certainly a lovely legend, but I prefer to put my faith in facts.”

“Then it’s not faith.”

He sighed. “I just don’t like to be made a fool of or let-down. I’m not gonna get any grand ideas about what’ll happen on this trip because they’re simply not going to come true.”

“Oh, Merlin, surely you believe there’s _some_ chance of romance for you on this trip,” Leon prodded.

Merlin stretched. “Not really,” he admitted. “I mean, come on, Leon, a gay man in Paris? That sounds like the title of some horrible erotica novel that ends in the main character being heartbroken and single, yet renewed with a new sense of life.”

“Merlin, come on, mate.” Leon hit at his friend’s shoulder. “I can totally see you finding a nice French bloke.”

“Well, you’re a good friend for saying so,” Merlin told Leon.

“I really believe it, too,” he pushed. “Paris is a magical place. Anything can happen.”

“I’m sure it’s a very nice city,” Merlin conceded. “I just don’t see why it’s viewed as more romantic than anywhere else. I’m sure I’ll come across as much romance there as I will anywhere--which is not much. Actually, none.”

“Whatever you say, Merlin,” Leon said exasperatedly, clearly realizing they would not be getting anywhere on this topic. “Come on, let’s see what shit Marie Antoinette got up to next.”

***

Merlin hated November.

Seriously, it was the _worst_ month. In September, the weather was nice and just starting to change. October was cozy and the air was crisp. Not to mention, Halloween. Then December was filled with snow and the excitement of Christmas coming up filling the air. But right smack in the middle of all that was _November_.

There was honestly nothing good about it. Weather-wise, it was bleak and dull and rained too much, the drops of water streaking angrily across the window while Merlin did his chemistry homework. School-wise, teachers decided it was the perfect month to pile on the workload after everyone got back into the swing of things and before everyone got visions of sugarplums dancing in their heads. Plus holiday-wise, there were none!

Pure and simple, November was the worst.

“Oh, Merlin, cheer up!” Arthur punched Merlin’s arm.

“How is that meant to cheer me up?” Merlin asked, rubbing his arm.

“I don’t know, works with footie players.”

“Well they’re thick, aren’t they?”

“ _I’m_ a footie player.”

“There you go, then.”

Arthur punched Merlin's arm again. “Ow!” he exclaimed. “‘Not meant to cheer me up, hm?”

Arthur shook his head no, and then jostled Merlin again.

“Come on, man, seriously. I haven’t seen you smile in days. Come to think of it, you always seem depressed about something these days.”

“Do not.”

“Do too.”

Merlin sighed. “It’s nothing.”

“It’s _something_ ,” Arthur kept on. “Really, what is it? You can tell me.” Merlin figured that yeah, he could tell Arthur. 

So Merlin took a deep breath and said, “It’s November.”

Arthur quirked an eyebrow. "And?" 

"And the weather bloody _sucks_ !" 

“I never knew you had SAD.”

“No, I don’t, I just--I just really hate November because it’s so bloody dark and cold and rainy and damp all the time, and I can’t seem to understand what the hell is going on in maths right now, and everyone’s all excited about the school trip and I just can’t get excited about it, and I want to believe in all that romance-in-Paris crap, but I just don’t, and Gwen blew me off Friday to Skype with Lance and I believe that she really was sorry, and I know I told her it was okay, but it _still_ hurt, probably because I am perpetually single, and I’m just fed up with life in general. And did I mention that November really sucks?”

Arthur blinked, and then said, “Wow. Have you ever considered getting a therapist, Merlin?” Merlin threw a towel at the jerk’s head. “Hey, I’m kidding relax!” Arthur pleaded, laughing. “How about we…break all that up, yeah?” Merlin shrugged, which Arthur knew to take as a, “yes, please.”

“So, about maths… I can get you in contact with my tutor, if you want. She has really helped me out.”

Merlin snorted. “Yeah, _I_ could definitely afford _your_ tutor.”

Arthur scratched the back of his neck. “Er--right. Sorry.” He often forgot about the significant socio-economic gap between the two of them and Merlin thought it admirable, really! It was a great reflection of Arthur’s character how he didn’t even think about that stuff since he simply didn’t care about it. But…. It wasn’t that Merlin discriminated against people if they were rich or anything (look at his closest friends for the proof), but it was kind of hard for him to forget his social standing, since it affected his life so much and seemed to come up so very often. He was just lucky the school trip was paid for each year primarily by fundraising and his family was able to make up the difference. “Well, I can help you!” Arthur suggested, suddenly brightening and snapping Merlin out of his reverie.

“Oh, _please_ ,” he said, rolling his eyes and putting his shirt on.

“I’m serious!” Arthur insisted. “Missus Harris is really good; she teaches me really well, and I’m doing so much better than I was before. And I understand everything going on in class, so I’ll be able to help you.”

“I don’t know if that’d be such a good idea,” Merlin said warily as he pulled his jeans on.

“Why not?” Arthur asked as he yanked his jumper over his head.

“‘Cause...we’re friends!”

“So? You study history with Leon every week and you’re always reviewing science with Gwen.”

“That’s different.”

“How?”

“Because in _both_ those scenarios we’re _both_ studying and we’re on equal footing. If you’re helping me, then…” Merlin trailed off.

“Oh, Merlin.” Arthur said, sitting down on the bench between them and facing his friend. “Don’t…don’t look at it like that. Please, we both know you’re way smarter than me.”

“Arthur, --”

“You are," Arthur insisted. "And just...don’t think of it as me tutoring you or anything, just...think of it like we’re studying together. Helping each other out.”

“Except that you’re the only one doing any helping.”

“Merlin!” Merlin could hear the exasperation creeping into Arthur’s voice. “It's just...passing on some knowledge; there’s nothing wrong with that.”

“It’s different because we’re friends.”

“Yeah, exactly we’re friends!” He latched onto that. “And friends are supposed to help each other, so let me do this for you. God knows you’ve helped me plenty in the past.” There was an awkward pause during which no one mentioned late night phone-calls about how Mister Pendragon had told Arthur once again that he needed to “get his head in the game” and he felt like he was disappointing his father again and no, Arthur, you are not a disappointment in any way, and if he was to his father, he needs to change his standards because Arthur was amazing. Nor did anyone mention all-nighters going over English Arthur needed to remember for a test tomorrow. Or bringing homework and soup when he was sick (though that last one _was_ a two-way street).

Merlin sighed. “All right, fine.”

“Great!” Arthur exclaimed, jumping up, beaming, and slapping Merlin on the back. “Oh, and as for Paris, if you’re not excited about it then you’re even more of an idiot than I thought you were.”

“Thanks, now I feel so much better about the whole thing.” Merlin said flatly.

“Well it’s just that it’s so amazing!” Arthur elaborated. “I mean I get that you’re not pumped about the whole ‘romance’ aspect of it, but it really is incredible. If you don’t do for the love bullshit, then go for the buildings or the gardens or the food or the streetlamps or the bridges. Trust me, Merlin, you’re gonna love it, even if you can’t get excited about it now.”

“Look, I’m sure it’s nice, but I just don’t--”

“‘Nice’ does _not_ do Paris justice, believe me,” Arthur interrupted. “It really is--”

“Do _not_ say magical,” Merlin warned.

“But it is!” Arthur persisted. “Maybe not because of the whole romance thing; I never got that, personally. Maybe because I was eleven, but…look, my point is that...it doesn’t magically get you true love, or even grant whatever wish you have, but it just...makes you feel like...anything is possible. And anything that seemed like something you couldn’t accomplish before…it suddenly seems like you can. Like the world is limitless, like _you_ are limitless. There’s really no other way to describe it, you just...have to experience it.”

“I’ll take your word for it,” Merlin said. “Thought I must admit, you make it sound pretty great. I’m actually _kind of_ excited now.”

“Well, I’m glad I’m the one to get you kind of excited about what will be the trip of your life.”

“I’ll be seventeen,” Merlin pointed out. “I sincerely hope it won’t be the trip of my life.”

“It will be.” Arthur grinned, slinging his arm around Merlin’s shoulder. “Because I’ll be there.”

“Sure,” Merlin replied shortly, shrugging Arthur’s arm off.

He just laughed loudly. Then he looked at Merlin seriously. “And as for the whole ‘perpetually single’ thing, --”

“Oh my God, can we please forget I said that?” Merlin pleaded, looking down.

“No, because it’s clearly bothering you,” Arthur answered evenly. Merlin sighed. “Just, uh…” Arthur stepped closer, and Merlin felt his heart rate speed up, which was stupid, because it had no reason to. “I highly doubt you’re going to stay single for long.”

Merlin swallowed and felt his heart drop into his stomach. “What…what do you mean by that?”

“Just that someone like you is...bound to be swept up by someone in no time,” Arthur said with a shrug. “Just, uh...make sure he’s worth it, yeah? Worth you, I mean.”

Merlin took a deep breath, nodded, and said, “Okay, I--I will.”

“Good,” Arthur said with a nod of his own. And Merlin realized that they really were standing _far_ too close together; hell, he could feel Arthur’s body heat emanating off him and watch the tiny leftover beads of sweat from handball roll down his neck. And he was looking at Merlin with something that, if it wasn’t Arthur, Merlin would call fucking “bedroom eyes.” And he still hadn't figured out why his stupid heart was beating so damn fast. Especially when he remembered that he had just seen Arthur in nothing but his boxers, with those broad shoulders and strong thighs, and Merlin could mock football all he wanted, but he couldn’t say it didn’t have its advantages, and why did it feel like they were the only two people in the world when really they were just the only two people left in the locker room? He swallowed. Arthur’s eyes followed the movement of Merlin’s Adam’s apple.

Then Arthur seemed to realize what he was doing and cleared his throat. Merlin stepped away, and the earth seemed to tilt back on its axis the right way. “We should, uh, get going.”

“Yeah,” Merlin agreed. “Yeah, we should.” He reached into the locker behind him and pulled out his backpack while Arthur retrieved his own.

“Oh, and about November,” Arthur remembered as they started walking to the door. “I think it’s a lovely time, with the rain and all.”

“That’s because you’re in love with the sound of rain on the roof,” Merlin argued. “Not all of us have weird rain fetishes, Arthur.”

“It’s not a fetish!”

“It’s not normal.”

“It’s _peaceful_.”

“It’s bizarre.”

“You’re bizarre.”

“Look who’s talking, Rain Man. Ow!”


	4. Little Distraction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Merlin finds a nice distraction.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YIKES, is this late! I knew I'd break that weekly-chapter-thing eventually. Terribly sorry this took so long, but I wanted to get this chapter JUST right.  
> First-off, thank you to the wonderful Sarah for yet again being a flawless beta.  
> Previously: Merlin and Arthur shared one drunken kiss that had a terrifying spark, and after emotional crises and constipation from both, they got back to being good ole' best friends. It was announced that the school trip this year is to Paris. Merlin couldn't get excited about it, but Arthur helped with that, which resulted in a ~weird~ moment that both of them then ignored.  
> This chapter is named after "Little Distraction" by The Lucksmiths.  
> Reviews are greatly appreciated, as always! <3

“Merlin! Wait up, mate!”

Merlin halted in his steps at the sound of Gwaine’s voice and turned to face him. “Hey.”

“Hi,” Gwaine said, somewhat out of breath from running to stop Merlin. “So, guess what?”

“What?”

“I just got you a date,” Gwaine declared triumphantly.

“What?” Merlin demanded. “When--Why--With who?”

“This bloke in my class.”

“Wow, gee, thanks for his life story.”

Gwaine cracked a grin. “His name is Cedric. He’s a bit of an emo, but you’ll like him.”

“Really?” Merlin challenged. “You really think emo is my type?”

“Hey, don’t be so judgemental,” Gwaine chastised. “He’s a nice guy.”

“I’m not saying he isn’t,” Merlin countered. “Just that I don’t really fancy getting my tongue cut on his tongue-ring.”

“He doesn’t have a--” Gwaine considered that. “Well, maybe he does have a tongue-ring, but he can always take it out when you two wanna’ snog!”

“Please don’t suggest us snogging when I haven’t even met him yet,” Merlin requested.

“Yet!” Gwaine grinned. “So you’ll go on the date!”

Merlin sighed. He’d been moping around about not having a love life for weeks, and Arthur would be intolerable if he heard Merlin had passed up a date ready-made for him. What did he have to lose, really? “Yeah, all right.”

Gwaine whooped and fist-pumped. Merlin felt a little like throwing up.

***

Okay, all cards on the table: Dates were not Merlin’s strong-suit.

Don’t get him wrong, he could really turn up the charm when flirting, and getting dates could be easy when he really wanted them to be. But the actual execution of a date? That was the hard part.

First, he could never figure out what to wear. And he really cared about what he wore. (And he didn’t care how that made him sound like an absolute walking stereotype. He wanted to look good and there was no shame in that.) And then, with blind dates, there was always the issue of the awkward-hand-shake-hi-our-friend-thinks-we’d-be-good-together-but-we’re-just-going-to-pretend-not-to-know-that-and-try-to-act-normal meeting. Which Merlin was always shit at. And then there was the issue of the actual date, which was even worse.

He forgot any good joke he’d ever known, became tongue-tied, was even more awkward than usual, never knew what to say about himself, and forgot how to use cutlery at the restaurant. He was a disaster when it came to dates. He could probably win an award for it.

“Trust me, it’s a great place,” Percy declared as he sat on Merlin’s bed. “You’ll love it, perfect atmosphere for a first date.” Percy was talking about the restaurant at which he’d made Merlin and Cedric a reservation. “I’ve been on loads of first dates there.”

“Loads?”

“All right, fine, two, but they’ve both gone great!”

“And did either of those relationships last?”

“Er--well.”

“How reassuring.”

“Come on, Merlin!” Percy pleaded. “You’ll have fun tonight, really! Stop trying to find reasons why you won’t.”

“I’m not--”

“Merlin, I know you too well,” he warned. “I know exactly what you’re doing. You’re trying to pick holes in something that hasn’t even been given the chance to form yet. Just enjoy yourself tonight, and see where it goes, and stop finding reasons why it won’t work.”

Merlin sighed. “You do know me too well.”

Percy grinned. “Now, _that_ shirt could work.”

***

It was five minutes to six. Percy had left an hour ago to give Merlin time to shower and actually get dressed. He looked at himself in the mirror.

He was wearing a blue button-up (“It’ll make your eyes stand out!), black slacks, and gray sneakers. He was not ready. Not at all.

Oh, screw this, it was a first date! With an emo who was apparently pulling a “D” in history! A “D!” Please, he had nothing to be worried about.

Now if only he could get himself to believe that.

“Merlin!” he heard his mum call up the stairs. “Cedric’s here!”

He took a deep breath, gave up on the pep talk, and made his way downstairs.

“I’ll see you after, Mum.” He kissed his mother on the cheek.

“Remember, curfew at ten!”she chided.

“I know!” Merlin called back as he pulled open the door and got his first look at Mr. Mystery Emo. “Hi.”

“Hey,” Cedric said with a grin. He wore a black T-shirt and skinny jeans, with black sneakers to match. His T-shirt said, “Death to All his Friends,” on it.

“Coldplay,” Merlin remarked. “Nice.” Really, he only knew three songs by them, but it was something to go on.

Cedric looked down at his shirt, then up at Merlin. “Oh, yeah, thanks.”

“So…let’s go then, yeah?”

“Yeah,” Cedric agreed, nodding. “Let’s.”

***

“No way!”

“Seriously, all over Michael.”

Merlin shook his head, laughing. “I cannot believe you made Gwaine do a spit-take.”

“Tell him I told you and this is over.”

He just laughed again, taking a sip of water. “Really, it’s not even that funny of a joke.”

“Hey, I worked hard to think that one up!” Cedric protested. “The plot twist took me a whole week.”

“Maybe your delivery was better when you told it before,” Merlin allowed. “But tonight? Not so much.”

“Well I can’t help it if your comedic tastes are lacking,” Cedric declared as he cut into his chicken.

“You can just tell better jokes,” Merlin countered.

“Oh, you are such a--!”

“Charming individual?”

Cedric reddened, and Merlin decided he quite liked the sight. “Well, not what I was going to say, but yes, it is accurate.”

Merlin grinned and could feel blood rush to his own cheeks. “I could say the same for you.” He waited a beat, then added, “I mean, I’m not sure I would, but I could.”

Cedric laughed goodnaturedly. Merlin really liked that sound. Merlin really liked this guy. He was funny and laid-back and easy to be with and somewhat sweet in an unorthodox way. Sure, he was a little...alternative, but not unpleasant. Damn it, Gwaine had been right. How was he always right? Merlin would never live this one down.

Still. Regardless of the inevitable consequences, it was nice.

***

“Well, it turned out to be a lemon,” Cedric finished the story, rendering Merlin unable to fight a huge attack of laughter.

It was eight o’clock, meaning they had two hours before Merlin had to go home. The restaurant was in walking distance of this great little place Cedric believe Merlin had to see, so they were making their way by the light of streetlamps to it.

It was sweet and romantic, and Merlin didn’t believe he could ever need Paris’s magic to feel good about something like this. This, a long walk along a street he’d always known with the streetlamps casting an orange glow around them--This was enough. Especially when Cedric reached over and took Merlin’s hand in his own. He couldn’t stop smiling--and he didn’t want to.

So maybe there was no immediate spark like every romance novel said there had to be--So what? It wasn’t like the spark meant anything; he’d felt the spark with Arthur, of all people, and--

Shit. There it was. There he went, ruining this lovely moment by thinking about Arthur, the very person he had not exactly been getting over for the past few weeks--just the person he’d been making sure to not...for lack of better words, get under.

And now here he was comparing this to that, and thinking about all the ways Cedric and Arthur were different, and how Arthur would have gone about this first date, and would Merlin have liked that better than the date he was on with Cedric now, and--?

But that was just it, wasn’t it? Merlin was out with Cedric right now. And having a great time with him, too! And Merlin needed to stop all this Arthur nonsense right now and enjoy this moment, now, with Cedric.

“Here it is!” Cedric declared.

“The marina?” Merlin raised an eyebrow. “Cedric, I’ve lived here all my life. Do you honestly think I've never seen the marina?”

“Not like this, you haven’t,” Cedric declared, and hopped into a boat.

Merlin’s eyes widened. “Cedric!” His voice only sounded as panicked as he felt. “You can’t--you can’t just jump onto someone’s boat! It’s trespassing!”

“Who says this is trespassing?”

“Um, the law?”

“No, I mean...it’s not trespassing if it’s my boat,” Cedric stated.

Merlin blinked. “Wait, you--you own a boat?”

“Well, technically, it’s my father’s,” Cedric clarified, leaning against the railing. “But I can use it whenever I want.”

“I just--Sorry, I just--”

“--Didn’t think my family would be rich enough for one?”

Merlin winced. “Um...well…” He’d heard about Cedric’s financial situation at school, and knew that it was even worse than Merlin’s. He was just a bit stunned to see that, despite all that talk (and, judging from Cedric’s words, the apparent truth of it), Cedric’s family was still able to afford this.

Because the boat was really nothing to sneeze at. It had a sleek design, white and polished, and of reasonable size. It wasn’t just your average fishing boat, to say the least. Hell, it was probably one of those boats that had a bottom deck with furnishings and the whole thing!

“It’s fine.” Cedric cracked a grin. “I mean, really, technically, we probably shouldn’t have this thing. If we sold it, we’d be a lot better off. But..my dad never could. He spent all of this teenage years saving up to buy it, and he just can’t bring himself to part with it. He always wanted a boat as a kid. He viewed it as this symbol, I think, of ultimate success. I think he believes that, so long as we keep the boat, we can make it through anything.” His tone was a mixture of admiration and resentment.

Merlin didn’t know what to say. “Er--it’s a nice boat.”

Cedric huffed out a dry, unamused laugh. “Yeah.” He seemed to realise his mood, though, and immediately perked up. “Well, get on, then!”

Merlin grinned, shook his head, couldn’t believe he was doing this, and climbed the ladder up to the boat’s deck. He walked over to the opposite side railing and looked out over the water. The view of all the boats on the shore, tied up and bobbing up and down with the waves, combine with the lights of downtown reflected on the water….It was beautiful. Merlin sighed appreciatively.

“Gorgeous, isn’t it?” Cedric’s voice was suddenly right by Merlin’s ear, hands wrapping around his waist.

“Yeah,” Merlin agreed, leaning into the touch and turning his head slightly towards Cedric’s mouth. “Magical.”

And it was very easy to keep turning his head until his lips reached Cedric’s. And once they were there, they didn’t move for a long time. Until they moved elsewhere.

And Merlin was very happy with this arrangement. And he didn’t even realise the way his heart half-broke when he vaguely noticed that he felt no spark.


	5. Everybody Talks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Merlin & Cedric's date, the whole school seems to abuzz about this "new relationship." The only problem with that is the fact that Merlin has no idea if he even _wants_ this to be a relationship.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again! Sorry this chapter's taken so long; life's been crazy. But fear not; I haven't forgotten about this fic!  
> Previously: The gang got together for a fun night of hanging out, which resulted in a game of Spin the Bottle. That game was the cause of Merlin & Arthur having to kiss, which made Merlin feel a "spark" when it happened. Things were weird between them for awhile after that, but they eventually got Back to Normal. Merlin is having troubles in maths, for reasons not yet revealed. And Merlin went on a date with Cedric Harris, after Gwaine setting the two of them up. The date ended in Cedric showing Merlin his family's boat; he seems to resent his father for keeping it, since his family is not very well-off and could use the money from selling the boat. When Merlin and Cedric kissed that night, Merlin felt no spark.  
> This chapter's title is taken from "Everybody Talks" by Neon Trees, another song I highly recommend.  
> This chapter has been beta'd by the incredible Sarah. <3  
> As always, reviews are welcome!

“With Cedric Harris?” Gwen’s tone was absolutely incredulous. “Really?”

“Okay, don’t say _with_ Cedric Harris,” Merlin ordered over the phone. “That makes it sound like we had sex on the deck or something.”

“Wait, you didn’t?”

“No!” he exclaimed. “We just snogged for a bit. Honestly, Gwen, what do you take me for?”

“Apparently someone who’s boring,” Gwen retorted. “God, I wanna have sex on the deck of a boat. _Why_ would you pass that up?”

“Because I barely know him!” Merlin pointed out. “And it was a _first_ date.”

“Well, do you think there’ll be a _second_?”

He sighed. “I don’t know, Gwen, I...I’ve got a lot going on with maths, and I’m not really in the right place for a relationship right now, and I kinda just wanna take this slow. See where it goes, if anywhere.”’

“Okay,” Gwen allowed. “But just….You know what, never mind.”

“What?”

“No, really it doesn’t matter.”

“No, come on what?”

She sighed. “It’s just...I just want you to be sure you’re not...um... _using_ him.”

Merlin felt himself go on the defensive. “What’s that supposed to be mean?”

There was a short silence before Gwen said, “Nothing. Just...be careful, Merlin. I gotta go. G’nite.”

“Goodnight, Gwen.” Merlin heard the click of a receiver and tossed his phone onto his bed before flopping down next to it, staring at the ceiling.

He genuinely had no idea what Gwen’s cryptic words meant. He was having fun with Cedric, that was all; there was really no need to worry about anything long-term yet. He didn’t have to worry about being careful, because right now, there was nothing to be careful about.

“Merlin, get some sleep!” his mother called from the end of the hall.

He sighed.

“Okay, Mum!” Rolling over, he flicked off his bedside lamp, snuggled under the covers, and tried to fall asleep.

***  
“Merlin, my darling!” Morgana greeted as she walked through the door and threw her arm around Merlin’s shoulder. “How are you?”

Merlin only grunted.

“Merlin, you’re not really a ray of sunshine today,” Morgana commented.

“Yeah, I didn’t get much sleep last night.” Merlin _had_ attempted to fall asleep, but he couldn’t when his mind just wouldn’t shut off. All night, it had been nothing but an endless stream of questions: _Am I being stupid with this Cedric thing? What am I even doing with Cedric? What do I even like about him?_ Do _I even_ really _like him? What did Gwen mean? Why didn’t I feel a spark when we kissed? Why do I keep obsessing over a stupid made-up spark?_

“Merlin?” Morgana prodded him with her elbow. “You still with me?”

“Hm?” Merlin snapped back to the present moment. “Yeah, yeah, I’m here.”

“Great, because I need to ask you about something I heard over the weekend.”

“And what’s that?”

“That _you_ went on a date with Cedric Harris.”

Merlin looked up at Morgana, eyebrows raised. “And?”

Morgana sighed in exasperation. “ _How did it go_?”

Merlin shrugged as he opened his locker. “All right.”

“What did you do?” Morgana urged.

“Had dinner, walked to the marina, hung out on his boat,” Merlin listed off, taking a few books out of his bag and shoving them into his locker.

“Wait, he has a boat?” Morgana asked incredulously.

“Who has a boat?” Arthur inquired nonchalantly as he walked up to his own locker and started to open it.

“Apparently Cedric Harris,” Morgana answered.

“Well, technically, his dad does,” Merlin amended.

“And why are we discussing the Harris ownership of a boat?” Arthur asked.

“Because Merlin went out with one of the Harris’s this past weekend,” Morgana supplied.

_Damn it._

Merlin doesn’t know why he doesn’t want Arthur to know about Cedric; after all, he should know if Merlin may be going out with someone now. Really, Merlin should have told Arthur himself. But he just hadn’t been able to. And he did not want to think about why.

“Really,” Arthur said flatly. “Cedric Harris, eh?”

“Um, yeah,” Merlin confirmed.

“The emo one?”

“That’s the one.”

“Huh,” Arthur grunted, not looking up from his locker.

Merlin shrugged. “‘Cause Gwaine set me up with him.”

“Oh,” Morgana remarked, eyebrows raised. “And?”

“And...He’s nice,” Merlin said shortly, opening up his locker.

“Do you think you’ll go out with him again?” Arthur pushed.

“I don’t know anything for sure yet,” Merlin answered. “But I think I might.”

“Why?” Arthur kept on.

“‘Cause he’s a cool guy,” Merlin explained. “I like spending time with him, he’s cute, and he’s not a bad kisser.”

Arthur visibly took a deep breath at that. “Yeah, TMI, mate,” he said through gritted teeth.

“You asked!” Merlin argued.

“My mistake,” Arthur retorted.

“So, _anyways_ ,” Morgana cut in. “ _How_ does he have a boat? I mean, I’m not trying to be crass, but I thought that his family was...not the best-off.”

“They’re not,” Merlin confirmed. “But I’m not sure if I can tell you the reasoning of the boat.” It had never been explicitly said, but Merlin was fairly sure that he’d been told about the boat in confidence. At least, it had seemed like a moment of vulnerability, and Merlin didn’t think Cedric would like him telling people about it.

“Fair enough.” Morgana nodded, seeming to understand, as the bell rang, signaling the start of classes. “Well, I’m glad to hear about your blossoming love life, Merlin, and I will see you at lunch.”

“Yeah, see ya’,” Merlin bid his friend adieu as she kissed him on the cheek and departed with a nod to Arthur.

Having noticed the cold gesture, Merlin queried, “‘She mad at you for something?” as he and Arthur made their way to English.

“Yeah,” Arthur sighed, waving half-heartedly at one of his jock friends. “I think I said something offensive by accident, and she wants me to apologize, but I can’t remember what I said and she won’t tell me, so naturally I’m unable to apologize.”

“Why won’t she tell you?”

“One of those, ‘If you don’t know, I won’t tell you,’ things she does.”

“Ah,” Merlin voiced in understanding. “I see.”

“You see it,” Arthur remarked. “I live with it.”

***

“So...Cedric Harris,” Elyan said as he, Arthur, and Merlin sat in the school’s theater for study hall.

Arthur’s grip on his pencil tightened and his lips became a thin line. “Oh, we’re talking about this again, are we?”

Elyan peered over at Arthur, who was sitting to the right of Merlin. “‘Problem with that, Arthur?”

“I just don’t see why it’s such a major subject of interest,” Arthur answered loftily.

“Because it’s been a _year_ since Merlin’s had a single date,” Elyan reasoned. “And we all care about our dear Merlin’s well-being.” He topped off the sentiment with a ruffle of Merlin’s hair, which Merlin immediately pushed away.

“I’m not saying I don’t, but I also know enough to let him keep his business as _his_ business,” Arthur said with a pointed look to Elyan.

“Oh, sod off, Arthur,” Elyan ordered. “Honestly, there’s nothing wrong with asking after a friend.” 

“Uh, if I may interject,” Merlin interrupted. “While I appreciate the concern and well wishes, I can really do without all the attention, thanks.”

“See?” Arthur said with a triumphant point of his pencil at Elyan, before returning to his maths work.

“What do you know?” Elyan argued before turning back to Merlin. “Do you think you’ll go out with him again?”

“I’m not sure yet,” Merlin insisted.

“Well do you _like_ the bloke, Merlin?”

“I think he’s cute and nice.”

“You didn’t answer my question.”

“You’re right. I didn’t.”

Elyan sighed. “Fine. I know how to take a hint.” He opened up his notebook and started scribbling, before adding, “I’m just happy for you, mate. ‘Hope it works out. That is, if you want it to.”

Merlin smiled appreciatively. “Thanks, man.” Elyan smiled back, and they both went back to their work.

Arthur didn’t say a word. Not that Merlin noticed.

***  
Merlin was sitting in the library, hunched over his maths book. Arthur and Elyan had started talking rather loudly about the last football game they’d played, and Merlin hadn’t been able to concentrate, so he’d come here. The library was a quiet little sanctum in the insanity of school. That was thanks to the librarian, Miss Cassidy, a stern, old woman constantly monitoring everyone’s volume levels.

Merlin was on problem number six when he heard someone slide into the seat across from him. He looked up, and was not surprised to see Gwaine sitting in front of him.

“What do you want?” Merlin asked flatly, wanting to get this over with as quickly and painlessly as possible.

“Oh, why do you think I always want something, Merlin?” Gwaine asked innocently. “Can’t I just be looking for the company of an old friend?”

 

“If that were the case, you would still be in class with Leon right now,” Merlin replied, knowing full-well that Gwaine and Leon share Physics at the current moment.

“Oh, Leon’s so _boring_ ,” Gwaine lamented. “He actually wants to _do_ the lab. What a knob.”

Merlin rolled his eyes. “Yeah, you think he’s a knob; that’s why you hang out with him every weekend.”

“Am I sensing jealousy, Merlin?”

“No, you’re sensing the truth.”

“ _Merlin_.”

“Gwaine, for God’s sake, would you just spit it out?”

“Spit what out?” Gwaine asked mildly, smiling calmly as he leaned back in his chair.

“What we both know you want to ask me,” Merlin said tiredly.

“And what do you think that is?” Gwaine asked, a challenging eyebrow raised.

Merlin narrowed his eyes, and picked up the thrown-down gauntlet. “How things are going with me and Cedric.”

Gwaine’s face took on a shit-eating grin, and Merlin knew that he had said exactly what Gwaine wanted to hear. “Well if you want to talk about it so badly, I _suppose_ we can--”

“Sod off.”

Gwaine laughed, prodding “Hey, answer the question!”

“Gwaine, I’m really not interested in discussing this.”

“Well the rest of the school sure is,” Gwaine countered, picking up a pencil on the table and twirling it in his clumsy fingers. “ _Everyone’s_ talking about it.”

“ _Why_?” Merlin questioned, whisper-yelling, still aware of their current location. “I’m not the least bit popular, and Cedric’s some alternative emo. Why do people care about our love lives?”

“I don’t know.” Gwaine shrugged, the pencil falling from his hands and onto the table with a clatter that made Miss Cassidy shush them. Gwaine waved his apology at her, then leaned in to Merlin, saying, “All I know is that I was the one who set up what is currently the hottest gossip in school.”

“Wow, how nice of you to care so much about your friend’s budding relationship,” Merlin remarked.

“‘ _Budding relationship_?’” Gwaine exclaimed, earning another shush from Miss Cassidy. “Is that what this is?”

“What? No!” Merlin denied. “Not at all!”

“Really? ‘Cause you just said--”

“ _No_!”

“Well you just--”

“I am not starting a relationship with this guy, Gwaine!” Merlin insisted. “He’s weird, and out there, and while that poetic mysterious kind of guy may seem like my type, he doesn’t exactly wow me.”

“Really?” Merlin heard from behind him, and felt bumps shoot up his arms. He spun around, dreading the sight with which he would be confronted. Sure enough, in all his black-clothes and punk-rock glory, it was Cedric Harris.

“Cedric, hey!” Merlin exclaimed, hating the tremor in his voice. “I was just--”

“There’s no need to explain, Merlin,” Cedric cut him off disdainfully. “I’ve heard enough. Sorry I didn’t _wow_ you.”

“Cedric!” Merlin watched as the tall boy turned on his heel and stormed out of the library. He gaped at Gwaine, who raised his eyebrows and shrugged. Merlin pointed towards the door and said, “I’m gonna--”

“Yeah,” Gwaine agreed, nodding.

“Yeah,” Merlin confirmed, scrambling up and following briskly after Cedric. After bursting out the door, he looked to his right, then his left, and saw Cedric a little ways down the hall, still walking. He started chasing after him, calling out, “Cedric, wait!”

“Leave me alone, Merlin,” Cedric ordered, hands in his pockets, head down and pace speeding up.

“Cedric, come on, just listen to me,” Merlin pleaded. No response. “For fuck’s sake, don’t make me run after you like we’re in some sort of cheesy movie! Just turn around and let us have an actual conversation about this like mature human beings.”

Cedric sighed and stopped. He turned and faced Merlin, who finally caught up. “I don’t know, Merlin,” Cedric spits. “It seems like you’ve already said all there is to say on this matter.”

“I didn’t _mean_ any of that!” Merlin argued.

“Then why’d you say it?” Cedric threw back.

“Because I wanted to get Gwaine off my back,” Merlin explained. “I love him, but Christ, he can get on my nerves sometimes. Point is, what I said wasn’t true.”

“Really?” Cedric checked. “ _None_ of it was true?”

“Well, I mean,” Merlin backtracked. “You _are_ pretty weird and out there.”

“Thanks,” Cedric scoffed.

“But that’s not to say I don’t like that!” Merlin added. “I don’t think it’s a bad thing. I kind of...like it.”

“You do?” Cedric’s brow was furrowed, and his voice was small.

“ _Yes_ ,” Merlin breathed, shaking his head at how quickly this had all become a mess, when they weren’t even sure of what it _was_ yet. “I do. And I’d really like to...see where this goes. If...you know, if _you_ want to.”

Cedric nodded slightly, biting down a smile. “Yeah,” he affirmed. “I want to.”

“Great.” Merlin grinned, and Cedric grinned back. They took a moment, just smiling stupidly at each other, before Merlin admitted, “I, um...have to get back to the library, but...see ya’ around?”

“Yeah,” Cedric agreed. “I’ll, uh...call you? Tonight?”

“‘Sounds brilliant,” Merlin accepted, actually looking forward to it. “Can’t wait.”

“Me, neither.”

“Well, I’ll, um...see--or, rather, _hear_ \--you then!”

“Yeah, _hear_ ya’ then!”

Merlin laughed, said, “‘Bye,” with a wave, and walked back to the library. Once he got to the door, he looked back once at Cedric’s receding figure.

Well. Weird wasn’t so bad after all.


End file.
